I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve sat down to write this blog post. It’s not because I don’t want to write it, but because I’ve struggled to know what to say, been worried about screwing it up, and felt like I’m not qualified to actually write about racism. I’ve written and researched and edited it so many times. And now I’m just plain starting over because I can’t write anything else until I write about racism. I have to address it. I want to address it, and I need to address it.
Shifting
To write a blog post about gardening or parenting or anything else before I write about the current social unrest and racism feels incredibly inappropriate and disrespectful. Life just can’t continue as it has been without acknowledging what’s going on and moving forward to work on it.
When I saw the video of George Floyd being murdered, I couldn’t UNsee it, and I certainly couldn’t forget it. Something about the cavalier way the officer looked straight into the phone he was being filmed with, and continued applying pressure on Mr. Floyd’s neck completely shook me and I wanted to scream, “Get off him!! You’re killing him!!” Something in me shifted. Permanently.
Pausing
When I saw the video, some of my first thoughts included things like:
- “How is this still happening in 2020?”
- “How did I NOT know this was still happening in 2020?”
- “Who can I talk to about this?”
- “What can I do?”
- “Where do I start?”
In his message entitled “This Human Race”, Atlanta pastor Andy Stanley said: “This is the moment to pause in the pain of our nation and to connect these current losses with the current of racism that has plagued our nation for so long. To pause and to feel it. And before we offer our solutions, to weep with those who weep and mourn with those who mourn. That’s where empathy is born. And on occasion, that’s actually where solutions are discovered.”
Reading
As uncomfortable as they made me feel, I began searching for personal accounts of racism, and I didn’t have to dig very deep to find them at all. Some of them happened recently while others happened years ago. After a few Google searches, I created a reading list of books ( also documentaries and podcasts), so I could try and wrap my head around how and when all this started, how I’ve been so ignorant to it for so long, and what I can do to make changes where I am.
This anti-racist reading list is very thorough if you’re also looking for a place to start reading. As I write this blog post I’m almost done with the first book on my list that painstakingly details the “unspoken truth of our racial divide” using documented stories from history and citing legislation that has continued to maintain that divide.
Listening
Before I open my mouth, I have to be willing to listen. Just because something is hard to hear or a conversation makes me feel awkward, doesn’t mean what’s being said is not true. Just because I don’t want to believe it, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Simply because something hasn’t happened to me or something that is shared is drastically different from my personal experience, doesn’t mean I should dismiss it. If I truly want to understand, I must listen attentively.
Dr. Stephen R. Covey said, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
Learning
Before I assume I know the story, I have to take the time to learn more. This goes hand-in-hand with pausing, reading, and also listening. If I’m not willing to listen, then the chances of me learning something new are slim. The chances of me having empathy or compassion are also very narrow.
In my short exploration so far I’ve already learned some difficult and surprising things about the way I was raised, the way that I thought, and even what I was formally taught in school. Sitting in that discomfort is one of the many things that prompted me to write this, and it’s also one of the reasons it’s taken me over a month to actually write it.
Former NFL player and current Fox Sports Commentator Emmanuel Acho said, “You must first educate yourself, so you know exactly what you’re standing for and why you’re standing. Because the only way we can solve this issue is through exposure, through education, through compassion, and through empathy.” He also created this YouTube channel as a safe space to ask pointed questions about race and racism.
Unlearning
In his podcast titled Silence is Not an Option, Don Lemon from CNN says, “We all have a lot to learn about why things are the way they are, and we have even more to unlearn if we’re really going to make it better.”
There are so many things I am unlearning. There are so many questions I’ve got that I’m embarrassed to ask. I kept reading and hearing “Do your homework” and “do the work,” and I didn’t even know what that meant. Thankfully I’ve got a few trusted friends that I can have some really raw conversations with, and I’ve got the world wide web and endless books and articles to research so I can sort through what I’ve learned and what I need to rethink and unlearn.
Author and journalist Isabel Wilkerson wrote “With an old house, the work is never done, and you don’t expect it to be. America is an old house. We can never declare the work over.”
Loving
I call myself a Jesus-follower, and the path Jesus set out is undeniable. Jesus said in John 13:34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”
So as a Jesus-follower, it’s very specific what my course of action should be. Love requires me to “bear one another’s burdens” and that means:
- pausing to feel the pain
- reading to understand more
- listening to personal stories
- learning how I can be an anti-racist
- having difficult conversations with friends and family about racism and prejudice
- having meaningful relationships with people of color
- and so much more!
There is ZERO room for any type of racism in love. May I be continually willing to do the work to root out every tiny weed of bigotry and prejudice in my thoughts, conversations, and actions. May I follow the example of Christ, who genuinely and sacrificially loved everyone.
Starting
Unfortunately, I cannot undo what has happened over the last few generations and even into the last few decades. I am in THIS generation right now and can make changes now. Changes to the way I think and speak. Changes to the story that I am writing at this moment. Changes to the stories my son reads and hears me tell, and more importantly, sees me live out each day. Professor Christopher Petrella, Director of Engagement, Antiracist Research & Policy Center School of International Service said, “Antiracism is very much an everyday practice.”
Remembering
Let me not forget where we as a nation have been, and where we are right now. To paraphrase Maya Angelou, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” Because of this shattering, this awakening, so many of us are starting to see the gaping holes in so much of the “history” we were taught or we thought we knew.
And now that we know, we have the responsibility to do better. This is quite a daunting charge given how much work there is still to be done, but Nelson Mandela said, “It always seems impossible until it’s done.”
Let this not be a fad that fades with time. Let us not squander this opportunity. Let this momentum continue so that we can make positive changes at a grassroots level, and not wait on legislation to do it for us.
It is our responsibility to not only dismantle racism but build a better future. May the world our children and grandchildren inherit not only be a kinder and more welcoming place but may it be an antiracist one. May I be willing to continue to “do the work” to make it that way whenever and wherever I can, starting right now. After all, Andy Stanley said, “We write our story one decision at a time.”
What decisions will you make to root out racism today?
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