Last week when I went to the salon where I’ve been getting my hair cut for about nine years I checked in with the receptionist and sat down to wait my turn. I glanced around and the four other people that were waiting their turn were engrossed in their phones. Out of habit I also reached for mine repeatedly to check various things like the weather, Facebook, or Instagram. I stopped myself each time and thought, “Have I forgotten how to wait without using my phone?”
What does he see?
Being plugged in can be incredibly addictive and before you know it an hour of your life is gone because of an app. I am acutely aware of how much I’m on my phone, especially since I have an energetic and active three-year-old whose eyes are always on me. He wasn’t with me at the salon that day, but I started to think about what he would’ve seen if he was with me. And that made me think even more about what he sees when I’m home with him. Nevermind he could jump off the sofa and impale himself with the strip of quarter-round he extracted from underneath the dishwasher in the kitchen if I don’t watch him. I am also teaching him what is most important to me by what I continuously do. So, if sees me on my phone constantly, he will gather it’s highly important to me, and maybe even think it’s more important than him. Among so many other things, I want him to learn:
- He is a treasure to me and so much more valuable than my phone or anything I could see while scrolling.
- Interactions with people are essential and how you notice people and treat people is a big deal.
- Waiting is a part of life, and sometimes technology doesn’t work so you’ve got to find something else to do.
- You miss a lot when your eyes are glued to a phone screen.
So here are a few things I want him to see me doing instead. These are things I want to see myself doing instead, to reduce the hold my cell phone has on me so much of the time.
Look around smile.
While waiting I want to look around the office or room and make eye contact or smile at others. We never know the stories people are living out and we may never know the effect a smile or a kind word could have on someone else. It’s so impactful to be noticed. In this hustle and bustle busy world of social media, online marketing, texts, and posts we don’t want to forget that there are actual people in our midst. It’s easy to get wrapped up in being an “influencer” online and neglect that we can all be influencers in our face to face interactions with others.
Doodle in a sketchbook.
Rather than be on a device I’d like my son to take advantage of the sketchbook I bought for him as much as he can. I almost always have it with us, tucked in my bookbag. Professor Harvey Grossinger said, “Scribbles are letters children write to themselves.” And I can’t wait to show my son the library of his doodles! I always have a some sort of notepad or sketchbook with me, except that one time I didn’t and doodled on a napkin while I waited instead. But those marks we make while we are waiting can tell a story of creativity, thought, patience, or any number of other things.
Read a book.
I love the intoxicating smell of a book. It could be new or it could be old, it doesn’t matter. But an actual paper or hardback book has such a wonderful appeal. My mother-in-law is an avid reader and often passes books on to me. Books on a device seem to be a lot more convenient because you’ve always got them with you, but there’s nothing like the feel of a book in your hand. —one with dog-eared pages or powerful thoughts and sentences underlined with notes scratched in the margins. My son loves to read. Well, he loves to be read to since he is three and isn’t able to read yet. And I’d love to continue to foster his love of reading and learning by making sure he sees me pick up actual books with paper pages.
Technology is amazing, and I am so thankful for the convenience of my cell phone. My cell phone is how I:
- Stay connected to family and friends that live in other places
- Run my freelance art and freelance writing business
- Check the weather, look up directions, recipes and various other things
I just want to be more mindful of striking a balance, especially when I am with friends and family. And certainly in a situation where I am waiting for an appointment or meeting. Sometimes those social media apps, texts, and alerts will just have to wait a bit. I’ve got some smiles to share, sketches to make, and books to read. And I bet you do too.
